.hard.times.

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

I try to think that I haven't experienced hardship in life. Well, enough hardship in life. As hard and as bad as it's gotten, at the end of the day, I try to remember that it could always be worse. For me, I think the hardest thing I've had to experience was asking my dad to tell me the truth about the affair he was having, flat out asked him. And he couldn't answer me. He beat around the bush and then lied straight to my face. Sitting there on the phone pleading with him, and having him being unable to come clean to me. 'I'll explain everything when you are old enough to understand'. That was my explanation for what happened. Explain when I was older? At that point, I was 20. How much older did I need to be? I am now 28. I still don't know what my two half brothers' names are. I expected that would be something my father would tell me. He has yet to tell me that I even have two half brothers. Maybe the hardest thing I've experienced was coming to terms with all this on my last birthday when he called me (he calls me twice a year, once on my birthday, and once between Christmas and new years). We've gotten to the point where we have nothing to talk about. he tries to tell me about his job, asks about mine. Our small talk has become so strained that I dread these calls. I was actually slightly happy and optimistic that they would stop when I changed my number a few years ago. He managed to get a hold of it. Coming to terms that my 28th birthday (as shitty as it already was) was the last time I would speak to him, coming to terms that I am not daddy's girl anymore, coming to terms that I didn't want him to be a part of my life anymore. That's been the hardest thing I've ever experienced.