I’m suffering from idle time today. My brain is blank. I feel like it’s stuck on a static channel like on TV. All I hear is white noise. I try to find things to focus into but I can’t. Even trying to write something now is taking all of my concentration. I feel like my brain is paralyzed. I don’t know what is wrong with me today, but something just isn’t right. I’m not right.
I’m supposed to talk to you this week sometime. I wonder if you will want to or if I will be ready to. I really hope that we can find it somewhere to be friends again. I hope that some of my friends are not right, I hope my gut is.
I found my Bio-Life card that I’ve been looking for since I started donating. It has $55 on it. that was nice to find. Now I can either spoil myself and get the ingredients I need to brew some beer…or I can be smart and use it towards Angela’s shower gift…I think I need to spoil myself and I have been wanting to brew for quite some time now…I need to find a local shop that supplies Brewer’s Best kits. I’m used to those and I’ve had good experiences.
I wish I could say my heart has been healing a little bit more every day. But that would be a lie =/. Today has proven to be just as hard to get through as yesterday was. I’m tired of the rollercoaster that I am on. I hope this ride is coming to an end soon.
I have events coming up that I can look forward to. And today, that is what I am thankful for.
1. Angela’s bridal shower – 12 days (I still need to get a present)
2. Thanksgiving in Denver – 15 days
3. Ashley’s visit in December – 51 days
4. Chicago - TBD
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