Forgive

"I think forgiveness is really about acceptance. Letting go of the hurt feelings – or more precisely the ego blows -- we experience when our lives -- and the people in our lives -- don’t behave the way we want them to. Which, lets face it, is most of the time. But if we can somehow recognize and accept ourselves and others for who we are – without judgment – those “hurt feelings” fade away and are replaced by what feels a lot like forgiveness"

I’ve come to realize
Crying can be emotionally uplifting
But not when you cry before you go to bed
Cuz then, although it might seem you will just fall asleep
Freaks like me, just keep thinking
Thinking about the reasons you are crying
How you want to fix it
But you can’t
Hence the crying
Do you see the circular pattern here?
Because there sure is one
Trust me. There is.
I have experienced it

But back to the crying issue..
It just gets messy
That’s why I’ve always hated crying
The runny nose
Blotchy eyes
Tear streaked face
Not that it really matters in the privacy of your room
In your bed
Under the covers
In the dark not to mention
The dark…

Dark and twisty
And won’t allow myself a moment of happiness
If only I could learn to forgive you,
Because it’s taken me 4 years
4 long years of torture
4 fucking years to realize
The only way to heal myself
And to let it all go
Is to forgive you
I need to let it hurt a little more
Because I’m not ready
Pain is what forces us to grow
But what if you don’t want to grow?