.old.writing.

Is it weird that I stumble upon one of my old writings/rambles, I remember exactly what I was feeling/going through at the time?

i sit here
with tears running down my face
i feel betrayed
lied to
hurt
i saw it all coming
but i didnt want to accept it
im lookin for the bridge
lookin for a way out
im packin my bags
washing my hands
and saying fuck you

you killed me
didnt even notice
you tore my insides apart
all i have left is this
this crawling feeling inside of me
i cant hold on anymore
i cant stand the pain
its all too much to take in
the possibility is sinking in
maybe then you will see
you will realize finally what you have done
you will see how every day that goes by
you have torn us apart

i cant sit here and wait for you to come
come around and be yourself again
ive waited too long....this is beyond
you selfish piece of shit

crying uncontrollably
i cant see
my vision is blurred
i hope you can hear me screaming
im caught up in the thunderstorm
and it never seems to clear
i wanna be in another place
just go away
let me be
live my life in peace
i hate you
i really do
maybe its just the thought of hating you
that makes me feel better right now
but i do
im screaming it out loud
i wish i could make things disappear
"im one step closer to the edge
and im about to break
"I got a heart full of pain
head full of stress
and handful of anger
held in my chest"

...i hate you

~Silver Reign~
July 4th 2005


"And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
Give it all away
This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear"