.realizations.

I am finally in a good place.

I have good friends who keep me in check.

I have good friends who actually care about me.
Legit.

Currently sitting in Starbucks. I only came here because Andrew is working. He makes me laugh. He is a good guy. No, he is a great guy. He tends to remind me what a good person I am too. I have made so many good friends here since I moved. They all play a part in helping me become the person I know I have always seen myself as. No longer yearning to be gone. No longer cowering in the darkness of my past. No longer abusing myself with substances to numb the pain. They let me feel, and let me know that it is OK to feel. Good or bad. Best part of it all, is the fact that I don’t have to say anything. They just know. For that I am grateful. I don’t know how to let them all know this, but I really am. It’s the one and only thing I needed when I moved here, and I got it without asking. Maybe it’s because we are family, maybe not, but they get me. They all really get me. At least I think they do.

I’m going to fly my Mama out here for her 60^th birthday. That’s enough saving time. It will be my 30^th birthday in that same month. I think it would be the best birthday present ever for the both of us. I just need to figure out how long I can handle her for…1 week….but that’s not long enough right? 2 weeks…what if I want to murder her after the first week…the second week would just be worse. But I think she would love it. I know she would love it. Mini me might be visiting me this summer. I'm stoked. I hope that works out. 

Just realized that I am at the ‘gay’ starfucks. HA. Sometimes I just don’t realize things at all..seriously.

I’m stil really upset that I didn’t get German Chicks number…she was quite the kisser too. Next time. Maybe. 

I can be such a creeper sometimes. Lol.