.

I’ve already had four tearing up spells, one I pulled myself together pretty instantly before it turned into something worse. The second I wasn't so lucky with, it ended up with me choking back my words that were lost in the tears welling up in my eyes and not being able to get the three letter word ‘bye’ out of my mouth before I hung up. The last two I don’t want to talk about.

Someone once told me that when you turn 25 your body changes and you start experiencing things that you didn’t before. Is this it for me? is this what is going on? Because if so I would be more than happy to skip onto being 26.

I’m trying to convince myself that it’s okay. Technically today is my last full day of work. I work tonight at CVS, but I’m in photo so I should be okay. Tomorrow we get out at 3pm. And I don’t have to work. And it’s First Friday so I am going to go out for a little bit. But all this self convincing is doing as good to me as the lunch I purposefully packed last night. This happens to be in the fridge…at home.

“I’m small and needy/Warm me up, and breathe me…”