I’d be lying through my teeth....

If I said I was okay.

I smell like you today. Which means all day I’ll be sitting here with you on my mind.
I feel like crap though. I still do. I dunno what’s wrong with me. I’m trying to stick with my whole ‘positive’ attitude, but I can only be so positive. Ugh.

I just want to pack up and leave. I want to pack all my things up into a bag…whatever fits fits. If it doesn’t I’ll have to leave it behind. But I want to put it all into a bag and just leave. Leave and start anew where no one knows my name. Where no one knows where I have been. No one knows my story. I just want to leave.

But I know I can only run from my issues so many times, I’ve been doing that since I was old enough to know anything

I don’t know what is happening to us. I want to fix it but I can’t. I don’t know where to start because I don’t know what I am doing wrong. It’s got to be something. Apparently I piss you off when I bring stuff up, but you tell me I need to bring stuff up, so I do. You don’t tell me when you are pissed. Throw it on the burner and let it fizzle. Along with the stuff I bring up. I only know this because you told me when you were drunk the other night…I don’t know if you remember.

You say to call you out when you are being a dick. I do. I tell you to call me out, but you don’t….not till I bring something up again…

Maybe I shouldn’t be in relationships.
Maybe we are so alike it makes us so different.
Maybe our differences are so vast its pulling us apart.
Maybe I need to start expressing things differently.
Maybe maybe maybe. I don’t know anymore. I am out of answers; I don’t even know the questions I need to be asking anymore.

Maybe I should pack my bags.
Take money out. And wind up in the red again.
If it means I’ll fix us…
Then it is worth it.

Maybe…