.dear.mrs.t.

From: Otua

To: Mrs. T
Subject: Otua's Essay
Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:09:06 +0200

Dear Mrs. T,

I am convinced the universe is conspiring against me.

Literally, every attempt that I have made to hand in this essay before the allocated time has instead presented itself with a problem, that strangely enough, has NEVER occurred before.

I don't know what I have ever done to cause such bad karma, but this is how my day went after school:

- I got back home at 3, confident that I would be able to send the essay before 4. When I tried to connect to the Wifi in my house my laptop - which has worked PERFECTLY in the past - could not connect. My brother was not home, and my mother is hopeless when it comes to, well, anything technological.

- I then decided to take my laptop to a nearby Cafe called Narona, where I planned to use their wifi.

HA.

They - for some ODD reason ( the universe) were having internet problems too.

If you do not believe me, you can call the restaurant right now and ask them if there really was a girl with a laptop that was close to tears because she couldn't connect to their wifi.

- So, I walked back home. It is past 4 now. On the way, I bump into an old guy friend, who lives around Gardens too. So, I'm like 'Hey, so, I seriously need you to save my life. Please can I connect to your wifi so I can send an essay to my English teacher. If I don't, she'll mark me down, and I don't think I could live with that.'

He goes - AND GET THIS - ' Aw man, I totally would, but I just signed up for a football team. It's usually on a Thursday, but they moved it to a Wednesday just for this week. I only get back at 10.'

I don't think I'm making my point clear enough. Let's look at that sentence again: " Aw man, I totally would, but I just signed up for a football team. It'susually on a Thursday, but they moved it to a Wednesday JUST FOR THIS WEEK. I only get back at 10."

Okay. Do you get where am I getting my universe conspiracy theory?

- Eventually, I get home, it is past five, I am on the floor and am VERY VERY CLOSE TO MY HYSTERIC STATE. My mother is acting all caviar and sipping her tea going "I'm sure she'll understand, Otua."

I almost throw my laptop at her.

I decide to search AGAIN for my fully functioning USB, or any other USBs that ON ANY OTHER NORMAL DAY are scattered all over my house, but for some MYSTERIOUS REASON I find none.

Again, the universe.

This is when actually do start to cry. My mother, the lovely woman that she is, decides to comfort me. "Don't worry Otua. It's only 10 %. You can get a USB in the morning, or take your laptop to school.You've tried everything."

I am close to shouting "Do you want me to fail at life?" until I realize that I actually haven't tried everything.

- I know that I can't connect to my wifi, nor Narona's. So, I deduce that it is either all internet services that are not working, or my laptop. I realize it would be very hard to prove to you that all services in Cape Town weren't working today. So, I do the only thing I can think of.

I write out - WITH MY HAND - my essay on a paper and then TYPE IT OUT AGAIN on the Virign Active computer, while my mum is peacefully enjoying her gym session. If you didn't know this, the computers at Virgin Active don't have a USB port. I find this out today.

Anyway, that is my very long and complicated explanation as to why you are only receiving this at 8 oclock.

I have missed whatever good show was playing on TV tonight, postponed my Biology revision that will must likely be rusty for my Bio lesson which is the first lesson of the day - but all is good on that front, because as we all know, my Bio teacher is a very caring and understanding teacher, and also haven't eaten anything for the past three hours because I was all to focused on clearing this up.

If you have any mercy in your heart, you won't deduct 10 % from my essay.

PS: If I made a typo, it is only because my sweet mother has been waiting impatiently for me for 20 minutes because she is afraid she will miss the beginning of her fav comedy show which begins in an hour. I love my mum.